Goodbye Turkey!

This is Hank's slogan - but you have to say it in your best Jerry Reed " She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft" voice. We say it when he leaves the room in his walker. My oh my, no drawer pull, knob, button or slip of paper is safe!

This AM started early but with the energy of Taz. I somehow coaxed him into a tiny nap, ate breakfast and then made the mistake of sitting him his walker as I needed 2 hands for something. He took OFF screaming around every curve and obstacle! So off I go following after him looking for what we have left out on accident that he'll snatch up and cram in his mouth.

This is what it sounded like today: pull, touch, grab, bite, throw, pull, drop, chase, grab, rip, mouth, chew, grab, lick, rip, rip ,rip, eat, pull, bite, drop, gag, touch, grab, eat, eat, eat, chase, touch, clean out mouth, drop, grab, rip, chew, touch...on and on.

He made the first of many many messes today as he bee lined for the garbage can AGAIN - I swear I only turned my head, not my body, just my head and he dive bombed into the fresh coffee grounds from breakfast. Yep, he chewed 'em too. Ewwwww, wet coffee all down the front of him and the walker! And you know how a walker is shaped at the bottom, like a swiffer, that just made the grounds distribute easily around the kitchen floor. I tried to get pics as I was stroking out and I had already cleaned his mouth a little.





Oh yeah and you know that sticky lotion Aquaphor? I tried to slather him down with that and a big bubble of it popped out of the tube and landed in the window blinds behind the changing table - Hank proceeded to run his head through it before I could hog tie him with the sleeves of his jammies! So, he was covered in coffee and now has greasy, sticky hair! BTW he got really PO'd when I tried to clean it up - OMG! He looked like a baby orangutan.



Whew - what a day! But I loved it. No, really!

SnowDen

After a week of a sick baby I finally got to venture outside for something other than rushing to work for a 4 hour marathon of work duties. I've worked 3 half days this week and so has G Dub - it's finally Friday and we are definitely thankful.

Luckily, the snow held out for the end of the week. Going home early was actually a necessity today and I got to join all the state employees who think that 3 snowflakes is justification for staying home.

Hank was sleeping and I bundled up for a walk in the snow. We very rarely see this kind of weather and it was reminiscent of growing up in Missouri when my Dad would throw me into the snow drifts off the front porch. We don't have that much snow, of course, but it still brought up memories.

My boots crunching the ice, I just walked around the block. I was toasty warm. The sky had a glow to it from the city lights striking the dense clouds. Snow clouds seem so think and full. I smelled wood smoke from warm home fires. I walked slowly. Our neighborhood is normally bustling but tonight it's so still. Quiet. It's only 6pm. I got to walk on a street that on any other night would be suicide to walk down. The occasional car was fun to watch creep up a hill - snow slowed everyone down. I made fresh footsteps.

Neighbor kids were sledding down my street. You know I can't see that without joining in and sled down at top speed with hands raised high. I think the last time I did that I was being thrown into the snow drifts and not going nearly that fast. We had a blast. When I went inside I realized that my butt skin was so cold that I couldn't feel any sensation. I called in G Dub to feel it and we laughed.

What a superb night. Simple, easy and free. Tomorrow I'll face the nasty, dirty, slushy, salty streets that leave ice turds under your car. Back to the grind.

Letter to Hank #8 - Peace of Mind

Just when I think I might throw myself off a cliff I collect my thoughts, reasses the situation and remember I'm your Momma and it's a brand new year! Does it sound like I'm struggling to be a woman, a wife, a mother, a worker bee, a friend, a maid, a cook ( even if it's a bad one), a laundress, your milk factory and distributer, lightening fast butt cleaner, pacifier catcher, ummm, what else? Oh yeah...sex kitten. I clearly forgot that one. Ugh.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I don't feel like I do anything very well. And not that I had high standards before, but, you see, that's the problem! I'm a half asser! I get something about half done then something comes up and I go to the next thing - dang, if I do have the time to finish something now I just don't because I don't even think I know HOW to ahahah! Wait a minute, I think I was a half asser before you were born so now I'm a fourth asser ( doing exactly half of the half I was doing before!)

You're growing up just fine and are so delicious. We've been calling you that for months and apparently it's a pretty common term - I read it on Goose Bump's blog today! Everywhere we take you you think it's a social event, like you are supposed to get your own entrance music or something! 2001 Space Odyssey is so cliche - you're more of a Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of fella. You'll need to be at least 15 for the Darth Vader theme - sorry your bad ass days are coming soon enough.
I need a dollar for all the ladies that call you handsome. Next time I hear it I'll say " Pay up Sista, this guy's got college to pay for someday". We'll be rich in no time! But you'll be kinda jaded too.

You're Grandaddy sure does think you are the bees knees. I heard that somewhere recently but I don't really understand the meaning. He's in the hospital right now and he says you are his therapy - his incentive to get better. I know for a fact he isn't the only one that thinks that way. And I'm pretty sure that Grammie and Grandpappy didn't mind getting Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease as long as it came from you and not some crumbsnatcher sitting in a grocery store buggy. ;D
The word Crumbsnatcher was stolen from a redneck acquaintance and I promise to try to not damage your psyche by calling you that - but it does make me laugh when I say it so beware as it may become a term of endearment one day.

Your sleeping positions are a hoot and I risk waking you up to get a picture. I dont want to just have stories, I want to remember it and how sappy sugery sweet it is to watch you sleeping away.





You hardly look like a baby anymore. You have little boy whispy hair, you talk up a storm and are hell on wheels in a walker. Your little sock feet take you everywhere. Hank, you will be a man that goes for what you want. I know this because you dive bomb to grab stuff off the floor, try to fly out of our arms and know where you want to go. AND thankfully you want to get there as fast as possible!

A Little Sensitivity, Please

Luckily there are enough causes to go around. Just listen to the local news and you can pick anything from literacy, drug intervention, child welfare, you name it. Hopefully it touches your heart and possibly calls you to action.

My personal cause is homelessness. Now, specifically, childhood homelessness. There are so many issues that seem unnecessary in this world but I understand that the complexity of the situation warrants more empathy and compassion than I give it. It’s annoyingly self righteous of me or anyone else to mention that there are plenty of shelters and food banks in our city and that help is there if a person is resourceful enough to get it. The fact is, there isn’t enough help in our cities and the homeless population is growing. That makes me weep at times when I really think about this with an open heart.
Add innocent children into this and I actually have to walk away from my thoughts because it’s too painful. They are in my prayer earnestly every night and I feel my involvement falls way too short of what my mind's eye sees me doing.

But does it call me to action? Yes.

I’m not going to boast about what I do here but I do want to encourage you or your family to pick a cause – anything that touches your life – and grow by helping in some way. It takes you out of your comfort zone and raises emotions that you maybe never thought you had or do not want to explore. But that’s ok – I feel alive when I’m a little or very uncomfortable and have grown every time I do it. No regrets.

An interaction I had this morning sparked this blog. I try not to think of myself as a particularly insensitive person but, whoa, I got a lesson in sensitivity today.
A man was selling copies of The Contributor on campus. If you don’t know what that is it’s a program for homeless residents (what an oxymoron) to earn money. If you ever see anyone selling it – buy it. All the profits go toward the vendor and their survival and the paper is enlightening about the real issues surrounding the homeless written by experienced men and women.

This morning I spoke with the vendor as I got out my money – it’s only a dollar but I had to dig for it out of my really disorganized bag. I asked him about his weekend and he about mine. On the topic of the weather we both look forward to it warming up in a few days. Mindlessly, I mentioned that my family was a little crazy with cabin fever…..wa what?!? I immediately felt small as his response told me that he didn’t have a cabin.
Damn. I had to leave profusely wishing him a great day….yeah, a great day in the cold. But he smiled and wished me well. As I walked away, I surveyed myself with my wellness that I take for granted. Sometimes it takes an angel to reflect our image back to ourselves.

I’m very sorry that my lesson had to be at his expense. Apparently, I need more training. I'll work on it and that's a promise.

Eavesdropping

Ever eavesdropped on what malarkey your Baby Daddy is filling your kid's head with? If you read my last post you will know that Hank already knows this is a load of crap but Big Momma thought it was a hoot!

Big Daddy G was reading an innocent enough looking book to Hank about baby animals. How can you taint this, you ask? I over hear him say,
"This is Mrs. Chipmunk. That's M-R-S so that means she is married and not an unwed mother. Liberals write M-S when addressing women so as not to offend or label them with a title they may not have."

Expressing political views by title? To a 7 month old?
This is why you have to be careful about who you breed with.

The Fountain of Youth

I know where the fountain of youth is. It’s an idea represented by our kids. This is why couples have more than one - to hold on to the idea of eternal youth. We don’t want our babies to grow up but since that’s impossible we have another to experience the extreme side of what it’s like to be young again. Yes, we live through it via another vessel but we see the mundane as new again. Very refreshing (sometimes inSANE!) and probably why more mothers are above 35. Life may have gotten a little on the boring side so why not just turn the world upside down!

The best quote I remember from when I was pregnant was my friend Marsha who was 39 when she conceived – “ Allen made me feel so young! I loved it!” She has the fountain of youth, no doubt.

But I also have friends that wonder why the hell they did this again and see the unprotected event as a serious lack of judgment. Actually, that was my take on the FIRST one!

I think Hank will keep us young. We have to be because he’s a watcher. He has been from birth. When something new comes his way he gets real serious and stares at it. We laugh that he already knows what it is and he’s digging through the archive of his past lives to recollect the name for it - can you say GENIUS?!

He’s has had a lot of colds this year and he knows what helps him feel better – I swear he does! He takes medicine with ease. AND he’ll let us squeeze nose drops in his nose and suck out boogers. He lifts his head so we can do it! See? GENIUS! My mom has pegged him as an old soul. He looks like he already has it all figured out but he’s just in a baby body – like his body has to catch up with his brain. And the other word for the day is….biased!

Hank’s at a super fun age now. He’s ticklish and tumbles around just smiling. And he doesn’ t mind being by himself for short stretches while I get ready or whatever. He got that honest. He’s very snuggly and social. We are so proud.

We have some new songs that we sing to him. We were watching vintage commercials on YouTube ( remember jingles?!) and ran across the Enjoli commercial from the 80’s – “Cuz I’m a wooooMAN Enjoli!” we sing “Cuz I’m a Baaaaby Hen-err-y!” Try to get that one out of your head – it’s sticks in there like You’re the One That I Want from Grease.

Ewww.

Hank Letter #7: Chaos Theory

OK Doodle Bug, you are 7 months old and if I thought I had it rough in the early days of your life boy, I had no idea! I have two times of day that are my favorite - when you wake up and smile at me when I came to get you and when I get home from work. I so willingly let the house go so we can eat dinner, read books, cry sometimes, and just get ready to end the day.

Today was a particularly hard day for Mommy. You've been sick for so long and another cold has you up at night. It's 8:30pm and I've been up since 3am - it was so sad to hear you cry. We rocked for hours trying to find comfort. But, alas, it did come and the day began in all it's chaotic glory. So much went wrong today but knowing I'll see you at the end made it all just roll off my back. It was really outrageous though!

It's a job getting you out of the house now on days that I work. But it's all necessary to keep you nicely fed, warm, clean, clothed, and now snot free. You've been wiping boogers on my shoulder for days now so I've been relegated to white t-shirts while I'm here around the house. But I don't care; bring on the boogers if it means relief for you.

Time passes in a blur now. I may be stressed beyond what I ever thought I could handle but the brain is a funny organ. It can make the craziest of times seem not so bad in hindsight.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining just seriously wondering if I can hold it all together for you. I'll choose to see the bleary time passage as a blessing if it means I keep just a thread of sanity. A human hair sized thread.

I'm not going to sugar coat it for you - this is hard work. I've never been delusional about that. If a parent is serious about doing a good job it's totally consuming. Marriages can get left behind to slowly disintegrate while parents focus on their babies. Daddy and I are working hard to be a team for you now - to show you how to be a family as wonderfully dysfunctional as it may be. Hopefully, I don't kill him off before you get to know him. I'm kidding...

Even before you were born we were Team Steele at the track; we've just expanded that's all!

Love you babycakes!