Monday, November 30, 2009

Clean and Soft

You might be thinking that I am referring to bath towels but I’m not – ever shook a masseuse’s hand? IT’s like they just handed you a baby butt. They’re so EXFOLIATED and moisturized; nary a hang nail anywhere. My hands aren’t necessarily workers hands like a mechanics or anything but they do scrub bathtubs, kitchen sinks and manipulate mountains of laundry. I’m gonna start naming these mountain ranges in my hallway– Mt. ManyPanties or the Dungaree Hills.

I’m taking a break this week. I’m in Destin overlooking a glassy sea. Right now, the scene is: G Dub is in the bathroom “reading”, Hanky Doodle is sleeping and I’ve got coffee on the back patio by the water listening to glorious waves. Ahhhhhhh. I’m so going to enjoy these 10 minutes.

Yesterday was the real break though. I got my yearly extra-indulgent massage. Dear Lord, please, in your infinite mercy, spare Silver Shells Resort if you ever decide to blow away Destin in a hurricane. You definitely get what you pay for and if I overpay here I could care less – I get mimosas while I wait ( that’s why I arrive 2 hours early – j/k) and a muscle melting aromatherapy message that makes me forget that I have woken up that morning.

BrownEyesSweetheart and I always go together so it’s a tradition that 2 weeks or so before we all leave SOMEONE calls and gets the messages and/or yoga set up. I was dreaming of it in August so I called this year. Yoga doesn’t seem to be happening though. My infant has regressed to waking up every hour at night so I’m not in a bendy mood unless I’m curled up in the bed. But we sipped our mimosas casually like we do this all the time or something.

I’m real particular about my messages. In Nashville I’ve got one masseuse and I will not visit another. I’ve gone to her for at least 5 years now - she’s just wonderful. She does my energy work and comes to derby bouts so we are friends. BUT if I’m out of town I ALWAYS request a man

……there goes a pelican….

masseuse. I’m hopelessly hetrosexual and find that man hands on my back are worthy of their high price. Does it sound weird to ask when you make the appointment “ Are there any men that work there?” I’m a Massage John! I’d totally risk getting caught if it were illegal just like the regular kind of John.

OMG - what comes to mind is Sex and the City when Samantha requested a masseuse that will “go down on you” HAHAHAHH I got tickled during my message yesterday when that thought popped into my head just as my hand fell off the table into a potentially compromising area had my muscles not already been deemed unfunctional. Any movement on my part would have been pure reflex -heehee - I’m just being crude. G Dub is my perfect man but he’d get the joke.

This guy’s massages are not sexual; they are pleasural. He has a wife but I’m pretty sure that his wife is a man so there’s no sexual vibes

…..oooo seagulls……

going on there but there is a sense that he likes touching women’s bodies. YEAH FOR ME! Almost all my gay friends are fascinated by boobs just like their hetro counterparts. No, he did not rub my boobs - geez. But since Hank’s been born I’m insecure about my body so thank God for dim lights. I tensed back up while he was doing the creative sheet fold to uncover my leg – I’ve never done that before being the low modesty person I normally am. I’ll get over it some day and then I’ll be old enough to not give a s**t anyway. Just rub the leg dammit -spider veins and all!! Wonder they would like to charge extra if you have cellulite?

……poopy diaper break…….

Oh man, it’s Saturday and we have to leave tomorrow. Boo. It’s certainly been great being with our buds and their babies and special guest Aunt Donna! We are so thankful for them and being in our lives! Thanks to them for letting us ride their shirt tails on this condo all these years – I’d hate to have to sleep in the sand.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


If you haven't already noticed this is a diary blog. Not to be confused with a political blog or an art showcase blog or anything important like that. Nope. It's just me blathering on in my Hunter Thompson stream of conscientiousness.

Regarding Thompson, he's probably not someone that should be admired but I find his spirit interesting. Interesting in a way that you might find, like, a cucumber fish interesting. I love reading about his hi jinx. Who would run for a sheriff's office under the "Freak Power" ticket and actually get VOTES?!? Just wonderfully awesome. Something may look insane but is it really? Or did we miss the perspective? Hmmm.

Well anyway, enough about that. I don't have the mental energy to devote to a rhetorical loop right now - I have Thanksgiving travel to think about.

I am kind of laughing on the inside because my kid is going to know who Bob Edwards is before he learns his ABCs. We listen to NPR on XM radio A LOT. After I drop him off at daycare I have a good half hour drive to work in traffic so I jot notes in a journal as I listen. Yeah I know. Dangerous! But I'm usually only going 25 mph and I have to because I'll forget the thoughts these interviews conjure up.

Some topics are really cool. Like why we can't really write about family in blogs. Do YOU have the nuts to write honestly about your Dad here? You might think you do but if you know they read it, you probably don't. And are you betraying them by doing it after they die so they can't respond? Well yeah...duh. Isn't that kind of language is pretty harsh for the living? Putting a mirror up to my parents isn't my job; they will learn about themselves on their own journey and I'll let them be. Or maybe they see themselves in me...? Maybe not.

Or the phenomenal interview with Rafe Esquith, author of Lighting Their Fires. Whoa. This guy inspired even me to make better choices and he teaches 5th grade in rough LA schools! Teach HOW to make decisions not just preach to do it. I'm posting a link -please listen!
Expose your kids to everything with excitement and support! They will remember and feel encouraged. Or leave me in the utopia in my head but I do believe it in my heart. Do you think it's too early to read Shakespeare to Hank?

Blogging in general was a topic and it got me to thinking about the blogs I read with spelling errors. Of course, I can change tense 3 times in one sentence so I'm not immune but some really are funny. They read more like a Mad Lib than prose. I prefer to think of them as a lesson in creative homonyms. ;D
I'm linking in my current fav website. Not kid friendly and not that you expected that anyway.

If anyone remembers Charles Kuralt and his "On The Road" series, please tell me how good it was to watch! I've only gotten to hear about it or read it and hope to get the DVD set for Christmas! Highlighting the extremely ordinary made it extraordinary. And who cares if he had a mistress - being extremely ordinary made him extraordinary.

And lastly, the fall colors made me think of my great-grandmother these past few weeks. I was lucky enough to be in my 20's when she passed away but I remember pictures she used to send me in Florida when I was 10 or my early teens. They were always of the view outside her Missouri front door or down the sidewalk. At the time, I was a self absorbed dork going through a parental divorce - ugh, I didn't get it. I would think " Oh nice, some trees". But now I get it and I'm so happy that she lives on in my memories. She wanted me to see her world. Her immediate world was small consisting of her Down Syndrome son and a daughter that visited - she wanted to pass on to me what she saw and how it changed throughout the year. Thank you so much. I love you.