Monday, September 23, 2013

Not Even Explainable

Well, hello there. My name is Fastlass, how are you?

 I feel like I have to reintroduce myself. And I'm resurfacing as a newer, if older, woman. Still greatly depended on, still ADD, still the same ol' me but with intelligible thoughts. :)

A reawakening is going on here and it's long overdue. So looooong. While raising the Little Monsters (so coined by PawPaw and said with devotion) I have forgotten about my marriage and about me. And that's fine. The most important job took my time and I kept hearing this benign statement of "You have to make time for yourself". It is physically impossible for my eyes to roll large enough to show how moronic I think these words are. If you know a mother or a mother that works outside of the home, go hug her. And hug her with genuine gratitude. You should be doing this anyway but if it's been a while do it. Now.

 This weekend was a total recapture of psyche. G Dub and I are feeling just a nip of guilt at the level of selfishness going on here but also a defiance that screams " WE JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER AND DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RULES!" We didn't care about popular convention anyway but well intended and copious unsolicited advice about family has made us bust out like depraved convicts into our happy zones of yesteryear. We giggle at the pics of us as 25 year old children. Blush at the gushy notes and letters. We've had a lull but grown together again with a greater purpose and sense of responsibility. We feel young and in love not roommates reacting to needs. Ahhhh.  No explaining where we have been; just moving forward.

 I'm going to go ahead and mention the inspiration for this entry. We spent last night listening to Lucinda Williams and sat with a couple that were just the nicest folks to be with. We were in the media section, having used my skill at getting to the front of the line and pissing off opponents sans regret, heehee, and met Alicia and Jim. It was cathartic for us! We immediately had topics to speak about and a general sense of good feelings - and they say that don't get out much either due to children so how ......shall I say serendipitous?

 So much so that we were exchanging contact info within 10 minutes of sitting down!? Someone would be interested in reading my blog? Really? Holy Lord, someone wants to know about us and the people we ultimately are? What?? We are not just the Monster's parents, we are still ourselves and it feels amazing to share this with, essentially, the best of strangers.

 We've pinky sworn that this will continue. I will continue with my letters to my children so when they are in therapy they will know exactly where to place the blame, continue with date nights where Bobbie's Dairy Dip is the grand finale, plan my next tattoo.  Smile more.

 G Dub, you are the neutron to my proton. We are the Helium of the universe.