Friday, January 29, 2010


After a week of a sick baby I finally got to venture outside for something other than rushing to work for a 4 hour marathon of work duties. I've worked 3 half days this week and so has G Dub - it's finally Friday and we are definitely thankful.

Luckily, the snow held out for the end of the week. Going home early was actually a necessity today and I got to join all the state employees who think that 3 snowflakes is justification for staying home.

Hank was sleeping and I bundled up for a walk in the snow. We very rarely see this kind of weather and it was reminiscent of growing up in Missouri when my Dad would throw me into the snow drifts off the front porch. We don't have that much snow, of course, but it still brought up memories.

My boots crunching the ice, I just walked around the block. I was toasty warm. The sky had a glow to it from the city lights striking the dense clouds. Snow clouds seem so think and full. I smelled wood smoke from warm home fires. I walked slowly. Our neighborhood is normally bustling but tonight it's so still. Quiet. It's only 6pm. I got to walk on a street that on any other night would be suicide to walk down. The occasional car was fun to watch creep up a hill - snow slowed everyone down. I made fresh footsteps.

Neighbor kids were sledding down my street. You know I can't see that without joining in and sled down at top speed with hands raised high. I think the last time I did that I was being thrown into the snow drifts and not going nearly that fast. We had a blast. When I went inside I realized that my butt skin was so cold that I couldn't feel any sensation. I called in G Dub to feel it and we laughed.

What a superb night. Simple, easy and free. Tomorrow I'll face the nasty, dirty, slushy, salty streets that leave ice turds under your car. Back to the grind.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Letter to Hank #8 - Peace of Mind

Just when I think I might throw myself off a cliff I collect my thoughts, reasses the situation and remember I'm your Momma and it's a brand new year! Does it sound like I'm struggling to be a woman, a wife, a mother, a worker bee, a friend, a maid, a cook ( even if it's a bad one), a laundress, your milk factory and distributer, lightening fast butt cleaner, pacifier catcher, ummm, what else? Oh kitten. I clearly forgot that one. Ugh.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I don't feel like I do anything very well. And not that I had high standards before, but, you see, that's the problem! I'm a half asser! I get something about half done then something comes up and I go to the next thing - dang, if I do have the time to finish something now I just don't because I don't even think I know HOW to ahahah! Wait a minute, I think I was a half asser before you were born so now I'm a fourth asser ( doing exactly half of the half I was doing before!)

You're growing up just fine and are so delicious. We've been calling you that for months and apparently it's a pretty common term - I read it on Goose Bump's blog today! Everywhere we take you you think it's a social event, like you are supposed to get your own entrance music or something! 2001 Space Odyssey is so cliche - you're more of a Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of fella. You'll need to be at least 15 for the Darth Vader theme - sorry your bad ass days are coming soon enough.
I need a dollar for all the ladies that call you handsome. Next time I hear it I'll say " Pay up Sista, this guy's got college to pay for someday". We'll be rich in no time! But you'll be kinda jaded too.

You're Grandaddy sure does think you are the bees knees. I heard that somewhere recently but I don't really understand the meaning. He's in the hospital right now and he says you are his therapy - his incentive to get better. I know for a fact he isn't the only one that thinks that way. And I'm pretty sure that Grammie and Grandpappy didn't mind getting Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease as long as it came from you and not some crumbsnatcher sitting in a grocery store buggy. ;D
The word Crumbsnatcher was stolen from a redneck acquaintance and I promise to try to not damage your psyche by calling you that - but it does make me laugh when I say it so beware as it may become a term of endearment one day.

Your sleeping positions are a hoot and I risk waking you up to get a picture. I dont want to just have stories, I want to remember it and how sappy sugery sweet it is to watch you sleeping away.

You hardly look like a baby anymore. You have little boy whispy hair, you talk up a storm and are hell on wheels in a walker. Your little sock feet take you everywhere. Hank, you will be a man that goes for what you want. I know this because you dive bomb to grab stuff off the floor, try to fly out of our arms and know where you want to go. AND thankfully you want to get there as fast as possible!

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Little Sensitivity, Please

Luckily there are enough causes to go around. Just listen to the local news and you can pick anything from literacy, drug intervention, child welfare, you name it. Hopefully it touches your heart and possibly calls you to action.

My personal cause is homelessness. Now, specifically, childhood homelessness. There are so many issues that seem unnecessary in this world but I understand that the complexity of the situation warrants more empathy and compassion than I give it. It’s annoyingly self righteous of me or anyone else to mention that there are plenty of shelters and food banks in our city and that help is there if a person is resourceful enough to get it. The fact is, there isn’t enough help in our cities and the homeless population is growing. That makes me weep at times when I really think about this with an open heart.
Add innocent children into this and I actually have to walk away from my thoughts because it’s too painful. They are in my prayer earnestly every night and I feel my involvement falls way too short of what my mind's eye sees me doing.

But does it call me to action? Yes.

I’m not going to boast about what I do here but I do want to encourage you or your family to pick a cause – anything that touches your life – and grow by helping in some way. It takes you out of your comfort zone and raises emotions that you maybe never thought you had or do not want to explore. But that’s ok – I feel alive when I’m a little or very uncomfortable and have grown every time I do it. No regrets.

An interaction I had this morning sparked this blog. I try not to think of myself as a particularly insensitive person but, whoa, I got a lesson in sensitivity today.
A man was selling copies of The Contributor on campus. If you don’t know what that is it’s a program for homeless residents (what an oxymoron) to earn money. If you ever see anyone selling it – buy it. All the profits go toward the vendor and their survival and the paper is enlightening about the real issues surrounding the homeless written by experienced men and women.

This morning I spoke with the vendor as I got out my money – it’s only a dollar but I had to dig for it out of my really disorganized bag. I asked him about his weekend and he about mine. On the topic of the weather we both look forward to it warming up in a few days. Mindlessly, I mentioned that my family was a little crazy with cabin fever…..wa what?!? I immediately felt small as his response told me that he didn’t have a cabin.
Damn. I had to leave profusely wishing him a great day….yeah, a great day in the cold. But he smiled and wished me well. As I walked away, I surveyed myself with my wellness that I take for granted. Sometimes it takes an angel to reflect our image back to ourselves.

I’m very sorry that my lesson had to be at his expense. Apparently, I need more training. I'll work on it and that's a promise.