Monday, November 30, 2009

Clean and Soft

You might be thinking that I am referring to bath towels but I’m not – ever shook a masseuse’s hand? IT’s like they just handed you a baby butt. They’re so EXFOLIATED and moisturized; nary a hang nail anywhere. My hands aren’t necessarily workers hands like a mechanics or anything but they do scrub bathtubs, kitchen sinks and manipulate mountains of laundry. I’m gonna start naming these mountain ranges in my hallway– Mt. ManyPanties or the Dungaree Hills.

I’m taking a break this week. I’m in Destin overlooking a glassy sea. Right now, the scene is: G Dub is in the bathroom “reading”, Hanky Doodle is sleeping and I’ve got coffee on the back patio by the water listening to glorious waves. Ahhhhhhh. I’m so going to enjoy these 10 minutes.

Yesterday was the real break though. I got my yearly extra-indulgent massage. Dear Lord, please, in your infinite mercy, spare Silver Shells Resort if you ever decide to blow away Destin in a hurricane. You definitely get what you pay for and if I overpay here I could care less – I get mimosas while I wait ( that’s why I arrive 2 hours early – j/k) and a muscle melting aromatherapy message that makes me forget that I have woken up that morning.

BrownEyesSweetheart and I always go together so it’s a tradition that 2 weeks or so before we all leave SOMEONE calls and gets the messages and/or yoga set up. I was dreaming of it in August so I called this year. Yoga doesn’t seem to be happening though. My infant has regressed to waking up every hour at night so I’m not in a bendy mood unless I’m curled up in the bed. But we sipped our mimosas casually like we do this all the time or something.

I’m real particular about my messages. In Nashville I’ve got one masseuse and I will not visit another. I’ve gone to her for at least 5 years now - she’s just wonderful. She does my energy work and comes to derby bouts so we are friends. BUT if I’m out of town I ALWAYS request a man

……there goes a pelican….

masseuse. I’m hopelessly hetrosexual and find that man hands on my back are worthy of their high price. Does it sound weird to ask when you make the appointment “ Are there any men that work there?” I’m a Massage John! I’d totally risk getting caught if it were illegal just like the regular kind of John.

OMG - what comes to mind is Sex and the City when Samantha requested a masseuse that will “go down on you” HAHAHAHH I got tickled during my message yesterday when that thought popped into my head just as my hand fell off the table into a potentially compromising area had my muscles not already been deemed unfunctional. Any movement on my part would have been pure reflex -heehee - I’m just being crude. G Dub is my perfect man but he’d get the joke.

This guy’s massages are not sexual; they are pleasural. He has a wife but I’m pretty sure that his wife is a man so there’s no sexual vibes

…..oooo seagulls……

going on there but there is a sense that he likes touching women’s bodies. YEAH FOR ME! Almost all my gay friends are fascinated by boobs just like their hetro counterparts. No, he did not rub my boobs - geez. But since Hank’s been born I’m insecure about my body so thank God for dim lights. I tensed back up while he was doing the creative sheet fold to uncover my leg – I’ve never done that before being the low modesty person I normally am. I’ll get over it some day and then I’ll be old enough to not give a s**t anyway. Just rub the leg dammit -spider veins and all!! Wonder they would like to charge extra if you have cellulite?

……poopy diaper break…….

Oh man, it’s Saturday and we have to leave tomorrow. Boo. It’s certainly been great being with our buds and their babies and special guest Aunt Donna! We are so thankful for them and being in our lives! Thanks to them for letting us ride their shirt tails on this condo all these years – I’d hate to have to sleep in the sand.

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