Monday, November 22, 2010

Fake Hair Fixes a Multitude of Sins

Women talk about the changes in their bodies after they have their first baby - some have bigger feet, some have jelly belly, big veins, hemorrhoids you name it. It all happens and we make peace with it because we have to. That's fine and all unless....
it's your hair.

My perspective is that changes in your hair are different because of what you can do with it that you can't do with more permanent body parts. Look at what women put their poor hair through and can you even believe that we have any left?!
My hair makes me just...UGH! In the morning, I feel like a teenager gawky and insecure. The curls that I've tamed since middle school are gone so now what?

BUT

I shuffled into Sally's Beauty Supply. Sally's and I have an ancient, tumultuous relationship. Sally's sold the dye that gave me fuchsia pink hair at my college graduation. Sally's also sold the cuticle stripping concoction that finally got it out. Nail stuff, cholesterol conditioners and some hair thingy with placenta, exactly who's I'd like to know, in it welcome me with the stench of a salon. Breathe in....ahhhhhh.

I was looking for something to do with my disrespectful mane. I looked at curlers, straighteners. No, no, no these won't do as I rarely "do" my hair. That's why I loved my curls! I kept walking until and a big blond Paris Hilton was looking back at me. I wasn't hypnotized by the celeb face but by the sales woman reaching for the package with a plastic Hilton pseudo-sexy glare on it. She said I'd look good in it - so silky for synthetic hair. OMG Paris Hilton is hocking fake hair!

Yes, I put it on my head. Yes, I looked ridiculous. Did I leave the store wishing I could shave my head? Yes. For one thing, I'm not buying anything with Hilton's face on it with a slogan on it like "That's hot". No I wasn't hot and I knew it but thanks. And shame on that seemingly helpful saleswoman for spreading a fake sense of beauty salvation! Can't blame a girl for trying.

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