Saturday, May 28, 2011

Life is hard. Wear a helmet.

It's not that I do not have much to inspire me these days it's just that I don't have the brain capacity to sit and think about it like I used to. I'll let it slide that I ended that sentence with a preposition because I really don't care as long as I get to say something that isn't in 3 word sentences or doesn't have anything to do with Caillou. I'll just be wrong.

I have quite a commute and I still listen to Bob Edwards as soon as i drop off Hank at daycare. It's like a link to the outside world. He interviews authors, teachers, political analyzers, comedians. These keep me up to date as opposed to the daily news of war, bad weather and crime. I can't hear about that shit anymore. It hurts my brain with it's slant and contradictory nature.
This is another reason that I still listen to Catholic radio. Not because I'm ever going to be Catholic but it's something to learn about something to care about and my brain smiles. The messages aren't even always positive but the whole message is and that's what fuels me during the day. That positive fuel that can keep a natural born cynic out of the icky depths.

Speaking of depths. Talking on the phone to someone who always has problems or is consistantly negative can keep you there. I've got one of those. I can empathize. I can be compassionate. But then I have to move on because I cannot fix what's wrong and the mental burden weighs heavy if I let it. I can be a listener but the internalization has to be blocked so I don't get bogged down too. My best friend gave her son, now 16, the best advice when he was young and she still uses it. "Life is hard. Wear a helmet." Short. Sweet. To the point. And harsh to some people but it's true. And the truth hurts sometimes. She may not have always made the best decisions but there is some wisdom for ya.

And life isn't always hard. It's mundane. It's elating. And it's a blessing. I'm sitting on my back porch listening to these retarded cicadas breeding everywhere. Today is warm and sunny; just beautiful. I'm pregnant and by myself for 2 whole hours while my boyz get a haircut. I'm surrounded by toys, a sandbox, stranded kid shoes and the little feet imprint in the sand made my Hank this morning as he played. I may get annoyed sometimes but even those kid shoes make me happy when I think of whose feet were in them.

Back to the Bob Edwards show. I know I know (eye roll). I listened to a sweet interview yesterday with George Carlin's girlfriend and it made me think of how wonderfully complex people are inside. He has been on my mind lately because I found it mildly ironic that he does the reading for the Thomas the Tank Engine kids series. HUH? George Carlin? Really? Yeah and Alec Baldwin does too so go figure. He doesn't strike me as the kid loving type given his history. Surely, he doesn't need money...

She painted an honest and unapologetic picture of someone coined as a real indecent ass to some. They never married but were hopelessly in love and he was a sap. A real honest to God teenager love sap! He wrote to her everyday and they talked into the night for years about everything - they were so connected and he never stopped courting her. That's what people wish for and here is a man known for tirades giving it so whole heartedly to her. What made her interview amazing was how described his comedy act - he didn't necessarily believe in his heart all the he spouted off but he was a performer and a show off just laying it out there for people to think about. Those words were what came to him but they were not his inner core beliefs. I found that fascinating because this applies to all of us. We are many people inside rising to the occasion of what is going on around us at the time. We need that. It's who we are as a species and is that 1% genetic separation between us and apes.

Uh oh, I just heard a car door close. The hurricane is home so I need to run an batten down the hatches!

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