An interesting women's topic has come up a few times in the last month. The topic of losing yourself in your marriage and how to find where she ran off to when she spoke those vows. Do women fix this, in a cheesy How Stella Got Her Groove Back kind of way, or just resign ourselves that this is just part of it?
A fix that I find most appealing defies the general attitude of how we live together as a couple. Living together 24/7 is the general rule but does it have to be that way? Can we have a retreat to escape to when we only want to be surrounded with objects or desires that we chose for ourselves or go get a coffee at 10pm without justification? No cheating, just a personal retreat. Outwardly, it can be seen as the ultimate “It’s not you, it’s me”. Inwardly, it actually it is.
What’s so wrong about this? I haven’t found anything yet other than hurting the spouses feelings over not wanting to be up their ass everyday and considering their needs, wants, opinions in all facets of decision making. I’ve lost, or never had, the skill to decide exactly what I want without turning to someone else. What if I want to choose the paint color of my bedroom not based on “Am I going to have to wake up to THAT every morning?” What if I don’t care what they think? Well, that’s just not being married then, is it?
Or is it? Needing this kind of space isn’t about not wanting to be with someone. It can, however, be about attaining the mental clarity to really be there for them in the long run. It can be about knowing yourself a little better and make better decisions. It can be about finding room in your head to let the love you share grow. Even if you have kids, I foresee this being a positive. I’m still me. So what if I can help show him respect for women’s space. That even taking a husband’s last name is a step in being encompassed in someone else’s convention of what should happen. It’s kind of hard to remember that we have a choice to do this or not when you are all caught up in the funness of a wedding and all that romantic crap. Initially, I was not going to change my name but guess what……well, you know what happens here.
And what’s so wrong about that? Nothing. If that’s the way you want it. The wonderful thing is that not everyone feels this way and that’s great. But the first time a gal gets talked out of the simplest of actions can be a rude awakening that what‘s in her head isn’t as important as what the other wants her to do. If she can live with that, so be it.
This post isn’t about devaluing marriage. Marriage is a valuable and necessary part of being human and loving someone to your fullest capacity. If you can survive it :D
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Wisdom to a Younger Self
When asked if I'd ever go back I usually say no, unless I'm going back to be 34. No, I don't want to go back. But there are a few things that I'd like to tell her; if she would only listen.
Know the freedom that you have now. Whatever you feel is tying you down now is nothing compared to what will bind you later. Go and do the crazy things that your family do not understand while you can. When you are older you will be perceived as trying too hard and judged as immature. "oh grow up" will be something you hear often so get used to it. You will crave your freedom like your hair blowing in the wind.
Say the hard words without fear. You are worth your thoughts and entitled to express them. Don't skip out of town leaving chaos in your wake for someone else to clean up. What's the worst that can happen? Those that really know you and love you will not leave. These same people will let you leave if you need to but be careful; they may not take you back. Be grateful when they do.
Live freely but have definite goals to attain. The world will push you into "good enough" without strength, courage, and conviction on your part. You are passionate so use it to create your life so you are happy and not settling. And be patient when others do not understand and ask you questions. Criticism is part of life; be able to explain yourself so you don't feel so alone.
Do not accept the status quo - push for better. So much of what you think doesn't matter right now does and you'll only know it later when all you can do is apologize and hope it's accepted. Or scramble to catch up.
Heal quickly. That grudge you are famous for reinforces the walls around you. Shutting out the world doesn't feel any better than being hurt by it and moving on.
Release the fear pockets brought on by loss from your heart . The love of your life, your PawPaw, amongst others are not coming back so let your heart relax to feel whole emotions. Don't let that love of your life steal the love you will feel your whole life. There are too many years ahead for you to be feeling only half of what's available to you. Cry and throw things when you need to.
Accept who you are and be ok with her. In your quest for acceptance, don't lose yourself. It will be many years before you find that you already fit in the world and have a awesome part to play. Begin playing early so you don't miss a minute.
Slow down. Angela you wanted to be grown when you were just a baby. Your mom's favorite story is one where you were 5 or so and wanted to move out just so you could cuss. She told you then that being grown was hard so why the rush? Independence comes with a price, as all things do, so slow down and enjoy yourself. Be prepared for the many years ahead of you.
Know the freedom that you have now. Whatever you feel is tying you down now is nothing compared to what will bind you later. Go and do the crazy things that your family do not understand while you can. When you are older you will be perceived as trying too hard and judged as immature. "oh grow up" will be something you hear often so get used to it. You will crave your freedom like your hair blowing in the wind.
Say the hard words without fear. You are worth your thoughts and entitled to express them. Don't skip out of town leaving chaos in your wake for someone else to clean up. What's the worst that can happen? Those that really know you and love you will not leave. These same people will let you leave if you need to but be careful; they may not take you back. Be grateful when they do.
Live freely but have definite goals to attain. The world will push you into "good enough" without strength, courage, and conviction on your part. You are passionate so use it to create your life so you are happy and not settling. And be patient when others do not understand and ask you questions. Criticism is part of life; be able to explain yourself so you don't feel so alone.
Do not accept the status quo - push for better. So much of what you think doesn't matter right now does and you'll only know it later when all you can do is apologize and hope it's accepted. Or scramble to catch up.
Heal quickly. That grudge you are famous for reinforces the walls around you. Shutting out the world doesn't feel any better than being hurt by it and moving on.
Release the fear pockets brought on by loss from your heart . The love of your life, your PawPaw, amongst others are not coming back so let your heart relax to feel whole emotions. Don't let that love of your life steal the love you will feel your whole life. There are too many years ahead for you to be feeling only half of what's available to you. Cry and throw things when you need to.
Accept who you are and be ok with her. In your quest for acceptance, don't lose yourself. It will be many years before you find that you already fit in the world and have a awesome part to play. Begin playing early so you don't miss a minute.
Slow down. Angela you wanted to be grown when you were just a baby. Your mom's favorite story is one where you were 5 or so and wanted to move out just so you could cuss. She told you then that being grown was hard so why the rush? Independence comes with a price, as all things do, so slow down and enjoy yourself. Be prepared for the many years ahead of you.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Twisted Demented
Disclaimer: If you are offended or concerned by demented comments, swear words or other forms of unsavory expression PLEASE stop reading! Stop reading right now. Don't be curious. Just close the window and wait for a more readable post. I'm serious. If you just have to read it, don't judge. We're all together on this scary boat ride and I'm making a whole bunch of stuff up.
The website reads "Depression can be a symptom of weaning". What about psychosis? What about the irresistable urge to eat the cat that gets on my nerves every damn day? How about bathing in gin and tonic? OR Xing out all the eyes of the pretty put -together mommy models in parenting magazines. As always, use real women as models and give us a break. Sounds like schizophrenia to me! God, please help this pass as quickly as possible before someone looses a limb and I beat them with it. This part I'm not making up.
It doesn't help that I've been reading one of my favorite authoresses Amy Sedaris. I've always thought she rocked, her brother David too who I just saw at a literary concert at the Rymen. I took G Dub to try to culture him up but his take away message was from a short story that contained the t-shirt saying "Keep sucking, I'll make more." Awesome, honey. Guess it was kinda nice that he was listening even though it took him a long time to figure out that Sedaris is a very gay, very very very liberal, gay, did I mention he was gay?, man. And wonderful in his assessment of our culture and I don't even have to necessarily agree with it.
Amy is different. Different like me different. FINALLY! Isn't it amazing to know your alter ego is out there? All of us know he or she is around somewhere in the world but damn mine is famous and pretty! She, like me, is a doer. Don't listen to the bullshit the comes out of my mouth, look at what I do, how I do it, or what I do about it. All that is unsaid tells all. That sounded all philosophical and I made it up all by myself.
She writes sarcastically. With words thrown in there for charm like back alley abortion. Just totally off the chain in a sentence that had a somewhat serious beginning! It hits you quick like a tiny fake orgasm. Oh, don't roll your eyes, we've all done it. If not, then good for you. I'll buy you a metal at the Dollar Tree.
Who else better to write a hospitality book? Sedaris the Entertainer? How awesomely tacky?! Tacky like your skirt tucked into your pantyhose. I've never thought of her like that but she does have some great insights about stuff like kids games. Hilariously scary kids games. And she doesn't like rules. Me either.
And crafts?!?!? There's crafts in this book too and ones that I can do! Like decorate cans. Stand aside Martha Stewart, behold my baby formula can decorated with a construction paper pot leaf. Or just googly eyes. I love those things. For anyone that has read my cooking blog you know that I think marshmallows are for nothing more than crafts so decorate a change can with them and see if they mold. I bet they don't. They' ll just harden and fall off.
And I've made this before but without the creative nomenclature and I think it was actually my purse too. A Fuck It Bucket. Get a gallon bucket, fill it with candy, write Fuck It on it. When life gets you down just say Fuck It and get some candy.
Speaking of my cooking blog, you know those creepy pictures I took of rice crispy treats between my teeth - omg, I had no idea that I was demented but she has the same pic with a cheese ball!! See? We mesh.
ok it's late and I'm spiraling down. I'm still the night owl. Now just with bigger talons to rip out your beating heart and show it to you.
Good night.
The website reads "Depression can be a symptom of weaning". What about psychosis? What about the irresistable urge to eat the cat that gets on my nerves every damn day? How about bathing in gin and tonic? OR Xing out all the eyes of the pretty put -together mommy models in parenting magazines. As always, use real women as models and give us a break. Sounds like schizophrenia to me! God, please help this pass as quickly as possible before someone looses a limb and I beat them with it. This part I'm not making up.
It doesn't help that I've been reading one of my favorite authoresses Amy Sedaris. I've always thought she rocked, her brother David too who I just saw at a literary concert at the Rymen. I took G Dub to try to culture him up but his take away message was from a short story that contained the t-shirt saying "Keep sucking, I'll make more." Awesome, honey. Guess it was kinda nice that he was listening even though it took him a long time to figure out that Sedaris is a very gay, very very very liberal, gay, did I mention he was gay?, man. And wonderful in his assessment of our culture and I don't even have to necessarily agree with it.
Amy is different. Different like me different. FINALLY! Isn't it amazing to know your alter ego is out there? All of us know he or she is around somewhere in the world but damn mine is famous and pretty! She, like me, is a doer. Don't listen to the bullshit the comes out of my mouth, look at what I do, how I do it, or what I do about it. All that is unsaid tells all. That sounded all philosophical and I made it up all by myself.
She writes sarcastically. With words thrown in there for charm like back alley abortion. Just totally off the chain in a sentence that had a somewhat serious beginning! It hits you quick like a tiny fake orgasm. Oh, don't roll your eyes, we've all done it. If not, then good for you. I'll buy you a metal at the Dollar Tree.
Who else better to write a hospitality book? Sedaris the Entertainer? How awesomely tacky?! Tacky like your skirt tucked into your pantyhose. I've never thought of her like that but she does have some great insights about stuff like kids games. Hilariously scary kids games. And she doesn't like rules. Me either.
And crafts?!?!? There's crafts in this book too and ones that I can do! Like decorate cans. Stand aside Martha Stewart, behold my baby formula can decorated with a construction paper pot leaf. Or just googly eyes. I love those things. For anyone that has read my cooking blog you know that I think marshmallows are for nothing more than crafts so decorate a change can with them and see if they mold. I bet they don't. They' ll just harden and fall off.
And I've made this before but without the creative nomenclature and I think it was actually my purse too. A Fuck It Bucket. Get a gallon bucket, fill it with candy, write Fuck It on it. When life gets you down just say Fuck It and get some candy.
Speaking of my cooking blog, you know those creepy pictures I took of rice crispy treats between my teeth - omg, I had no idea that I was demented but she has the same pic with a cheese ball!! See? We mesh.
ok it's late and I'm spiraling down. I'm still the night owl. Now just with bigger talons to rip out your beating heart and show it to you.
Good night.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Opinion Donors Beware
"Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one." Well, that's a nice, crude way to begin a blog. Taken literally, it's true. Taken thoughtfully, it's apathetic and an emotionally self righteous cop-out. Said plainly "I don't have to listen to you".
Listening to opinions is a sticky gray area that I prefer to not really talk about but there are times that my brain just gets so full of other peoples' seemingly helpful comments that I have the image of the top of my head blowing off. Kapow!
We receive what we give out. If you dish out more than you can receive then you have a problem. If I'm suppressing confrontation of an issue because I know I will encounter defensiveness and do not want to deal with it then I have a problem. No, we both have a problem. Egos.
Ah, the good 'ol ego.
I don't guess I know how to say this other than just blurting it out - What makes an opinion donor entitled to feel like I should respect their thoughts and do as they say? Speaking without persuasive undertones is possible - it's called a discussion. And a discussion between two humble, non-judgemental people is helpful,engaging and often productive. Spitting out opinions with blatant intent to sway due to insecurities is not. If you need to be heard and respected, expecting me to do as you say or do will not get you there. I don't care who you are. Give me reason to respect you and I will, I promise. And I will acknowledge it.
Personally, I do not say the statement with the a-hole reference. But for I do internalize opinions that I hear and, depending on the person, take them into consideration even if my plans differ. We all deserve to be listened to and taken seriously. And oftentimes, humans blow each other off. Ok, fine. But humility is a large factor. I still have to work on this at times, I'm by far no expert on it! Yes, are all entitled to have opinions but is anyone entitled to listen? Not really. If you use the above statement, you better know that.
And I don't mean to be self degrading. My opinions are worth something somewhere in the cosmos I guess. But I can't attach my self worth or self respect to whether I'm being listened to by my peers. That's putting these heavy issues in other people's hands - and do you trust other people to providing you with self worth? Lord, I hope not. Talk about potential for constant disappointment. They cannot do for you what you and God can do for you.
And that's just my opinion....for whatever it's worth.
Listening to opinions is a sticky gray area that I prefer to not really talk about but there are times that my brain just gets so full of other peoples' seemingly helpful comments that I have the image of the top of my head blowing off. Kapow!
We receive what we give out. If you dish out more than you can receive then you have a problem. If I'm suppressing confrontation of an issue because I know I will encounter defensiveness and do not want to deal with it then I have a problem. No, we both have a problem. Egos.
Ah, the good 'ol ego.
I don't guess I know how to say this other than just blurting it out - What makes an opinion donor entitled to feel like I should respect their thoughts and do as they say? Speaking without persuasive undertones is possible - it's called a discussion. And a discussion between two humble, non-judgemental people is helpful,engaging and often productive. Spitting out opinions with blatant intent to sway due to insecurities is not. If you need to be heard and respected, expecting me to do as you say or do will not get you there. I don't care who you are. Give me reason to respect you and I will, I promise. And I will acknowledge it.
Personally, I do not say the statement with the a-hole reference. But for I do internalize opinions that I hear and, depending on the person, take them into consideration even if my plans differ. We all deserve to be listened to and taken seriously. And oftentimes, humans blow each other off. Ok, fine. But humility is a large factor. I still have to work on this at times, I'm by far no expert on it! Yes, are all entitled to have opinions but is anyone entitled to listen? Not really. If you use the above statement, you better know that.
And I don't mean to be self degrading. My opinions are worth something somewhere in the cosmos I guess. But I can't attach my self worth or self respect to whether I'm being listened to by my peers. That's putting these heavy issues in other people's hands - and do you trust other people to providing you with self worth? Lord, I hope not. Talk about potential for constant disappointment. They cannot do for you what you and God can do for you.
And that's just my opinion....for whatever it's worth.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Letter to Hank #9 - Growing Pains
My My, you've grown! You are 11 months old and are a little boy now. Not a snuggly bundle of baby mush but a boy getting ready to walk and hit more milestones every week!
We can see your emotions and I saw a full on pout the other day. That bottom lip pooched out and later on I'll have to remember that I wanted to just grab it and kiss it. Later on I might wish you didn't have a mouth; all traces of cuteness gone replaced with angst and raw willpower. I assume all this about teenagers only because that was me. You aren't me and how thankful I am for that!
I still don't think it's set in that I'm your Momma. I'm a Mom?!? What?? I have to teach you playground ethics, consequences, fun and moderation?? Biting is your favorite pastime right now - like you can't resist when you know that Mommy's underarm is just so soft and tender. Saying no somewhat calmly when you have a gopher attached to your pit isn't easy. You may be coming in for a kiss but you're sneaky and apt to bite and run. Hopefully, we can curb this before you start leaving teeth semicircles on stuff. Your crib has taken a beating already. And never mind my anxiety that I have lead paint in my house - oh lord.
And you take off your diaper at times when it negatively impacts your environment. When I've left you for a moment to play in your crib is not the time. I know YOU thought it was funny! Beware, I have pictures of you in there with a piddle puddle and I know how to use them.
Your hair is growing to long to stand up and that makes me sad. I've had so much pleasure messing your hair up out of the Tom Brokaw doo that it naturally falls into...sigh, just like your Daddy. Now I use a little product and get a really good fauxhawk but out in public you just have sweet baby hair. I still joke that I kiss your head so much I'll give you a receding hairline. And I KNOW you have flash spots in your eyes from the constant pictures, sorry if you get cataracts later cuz of us!
We are coming to the end of nursing and that is bittersweet. I'm gonna miss you. It's been hard at times but I'll never ever regret the mastitis, lugging that pump around, or the care that I took to keep milk ready for you always despite lack of support. I wasn't willing to just quit when it got tough. It was so worth it. We may not have prevented colds like the books say but we're a Momma and Baby team. Here I go for my first real letting go event. I'll grieve a little but we're ready.
Dressing you is an adventure. Period.
Your motto is: Outta my way!
Hank, you never have gone though separation anxiety. For me that's wonderful! I don't worry about you (only in this situation!) You don't fuss when I leave at daycare or in the church nursery - which is really cool cuz other ones do so I feel a little proud of us heehee.
I call you Pootie a lot.
You put yourself to sleep at night! Even if you still don't sleep through the night but you'll get there one day. You have to or I'll just slip you a roofie. I kid, I kid....
I carry you on my back like a little bug and you don't mind. I think the only things you really do mind are green veggies and getting a diaper change. i guess you think flopping around like a fish is gonna make me not do it but your dead wrong. You stink, boy.
I'm planning your 1st Birthday party this weekend. I know I have 4 weeks left but this is a big deal. You made it. I made it. Your Daddy made it. And that's something to celebrate!
We can see your emotions and I saw a full on pout the other day. That bottom lip pooched out and later on I'll have to remember that I wanted to just grab it and kiss it. Later on I might wish you didn't have a mouth; all traces of cuteness gone replaced with angst and raw willpower. I assume all this about teenagers only because that was me. You aren't me and how thankful I am for that!
I still don't think it's set in that I'm your Momma. I'm a Mom?!? What?? I have to teach you playground ethics, consequences, fun and moderation?? Biting is your favorite pastime right now - like you can't resist when you know that Mommy's underarm is just so soft and tender. Saying no somewhat calmly when you have a gopher attached to your pit isn't easy. You may be coming in for a kiss but you're sneaky and apt to bite and run. Hopefully, we can curb this before you start leaving teeth semicircles on stuff. Your crib has taken a beating already. And never mind my anxiety that I have lead paint in my house - oh lord.
And you take off your diaper at times when it negatively impacts your environment. When I've left you for a moment to play in your crib is not the time. I know YOU thought it was funny! Beware, I have pictures of you in there with a piddle puddle and I know how to use them.
Your hair is growing to long to stand up and that makes me sad. I've had so much pleasure messing your hair up out of the Tom Brokaw doo that it naturally falls into...sigh, just like your Daddy. Now I use a little product and get a really good fauxhawk but out in public you just have sweet baby hair. I still joke that I kiss your head so much I'll give you a receding hairline. And I KNOW you have flash spots in your eyes from the constant pictures, sorry if you get cataracts later cuz of us!
We are coming to the end of nursing and that is bittersweet. I'm gonna miss you. It's been hard at times but I'll never ever regret the mastitis, lugging that pump around, or the care that I took to keep milk ready for you always despite lack of support. I wasn't willing to just quit when it got tough. It was so worth it. We may not have prevented colds like the books say but we're a Momma and Baby team. Here I go for my first real letting go event. I'll grieve a little but we're ready.
Dressing you is an adventure. Period.
Your motto is: Outta my way!
Hank, you never have gone though separation anxiety. For me that's wonderful! I don't worry about you (only in this situation!) You don't fuss when I leave at daycare or in the church nursery - which is really cool cuz other ones do so I feel a little proud of us heehee.
I call you Pootie a lot.
You put yourself to sleep at night! Even if you still don't sleep through the night but you'll get there one day. You have to or I'll just slip you a roofie. I kid, I kid....
I carry you on my back like a little bug and you don't mind. I think the only things you really do mind are green veggies and getting a diaper change. i guess you think flopping around like a fish is gonna make me not do it but your dead wrong. You stink, boy.
I'm planning your 1st Birthday party this weekend. I know I have 4 weeks left but this is a big deal. You made it. I made it. Your Daddy made it. And that's something to celebrate!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Not Even a Good Title
I suppose I should explain my hiatus - or my hi-anus as my Mom would say. Bless her heart, she has her own language that continues to make me giggle under my breath so as to not CONSTANTLY correct her. Once you get it though it's entertaining and understandable. Not much else in the world has both of those qualities.
By the end of January I began to go into a pit. I've described it before. January through March is tough - we are in the thick of winter and this year was particularly bad. It was colder than a brass monkey and for WAY too long.
**Sidenote: I'm in a coffee shop enjoying an hour without my boyz and, holy cow, a guy just showed up in an electric blue satin pant suit. The glare is killing my corneas so excuse me while I let this pass....good lord....it's hard to not point but I have no one to point it out to ( yeah!) . Dude, get out of the sun!! Do you think you're Usher?? Ack!**
ok, where was I....oh yeah, my hiatus. I love Spring and not just for the allergies but for the emergence of everything wonderful. In the end of winter life feels much too heavy and I'm extraordinarily unmotivated but warm weather brings with it light and lightness of heart. I look around and realize what I have let slide but the work to correct this is so refreshing and beautiful. Marriage included.
That's where I am now. It doesn't really matter where I've been but that I made it here at this moment to enjoy my family again. G Dub and I have been squaballing (i don't know how to spell that) a lot until we have noticed that to be understood and taken seriously you have to use words that have more than 4 letters. And say a lot of them. Name calling isn't going to motivate anyone to change. I'd like for someone to show me an example of reverse psychology actually working... It doesn't. Ever.
** OMG, this coffee gave me the shakes so bad i may just leave all the typos in here just to make it interesting**
But other than family infighting I haven't really been inspired by much lately. Other than watching Hank turn into a little boy, which is the most marvelous transformation, I don't sit and ponder stuff. Well, I do but it's in soundbytes. I wonder about it off it goes into oblivion before i get a chance to write it down. Dang thats a drag cuz I've come up with some pretty ridiculous crap lately :D!
**Wow, there a lot of yuppies around here.**
Most importantly the state of transition has kept me in awe of the world. What is more certain than death and taxes? Change.
Embracing it can prove to be difficult but who emerges ( there's that word again) is someone more enlightened, more aware, or more scared, or ________ ( insert an emotion). I see changes in me and watch change in the ones I love and how they respond to it. These responses make an impression.
Many changes I am so glad to see, others not so much. But as a whole concept I LOVE it! I've said this many times. Yada yada yada.
I'm off now to see more. Teach kids and just try to tell me that isn't a profound amount of transition!
**Song on iTunes = Jesus Built my HotRod by Ministry LOOOVE IT!**
Maybe next time I won't blather on so much....but isn't that why you read this??? ;D
By the end of January I began to go into a pit. I've described it before. January through March is tough - we are in the thick of winter and this year was particularly bad. It was colder than a brass monkey and for WAY too long.
**Sidenote: I'm in a coffee shop enjoying an hour without my boyz and, holy cow, a guy just showed up in an electric blue satin pant suit. The glare is killing my corneas so excuse me while I let this pass....good lord....it's hard to not point but I have no one to point it out to ( yeah!) . Dude, get out of the sun!! Do you think you're Usher?? Ack!**
ok, where was I....oh yeah, my hiatus. I love Spring and not just for the allergies but for the emergence of everything wonderful. In the end of winter life feels much too heavy and I'm extraordinarily unmotivated but warm weather brings with it light and lightness of heart. I look around and realize what I have let slide but the work to correct this is so refreshing and beautiful. Marriage included.
That's where I am now. It doesn't really matter where I've been but that I made it here at this moment to enjoy my family again. G Dub and I have been squaballing (i don't know how to spell that) a lot until we have noticed that to be understood and taken seriously you have to use words that have more than 4 letters. And say a lot of them. Name calling isn't going to motivate anyone to change. I'd like for someone to show me an example of reverse psychology actually working... It doesn't. Ever.
** OMG, this coffee gave me the shakes so bad i may just leave all the typos in here just to make it interesting**
But other than family infighting I haven't really been inspired by much lately. Other than watching Hank turn into a little boy, which is the most marvelous transformation, I don't sit and ponder stuff. Well, I do but it's in soundbytes. I wonder about it off it goes into oblivion before i get a chance to write it down. Dang thats a drag cuz I've come up with some pretty ridiculous crap lately :D!
**Wow, there a lot of yuppies around here.**
Most importantly the state of transition has kept me in awe of the world. What is more certain than death and taxes? Change.
Embracing it can prove to be difficult but who emerges ( there's that word again) is someone more enlightened, more aware, or more scared, or ________ ( insert an emotion). I see changes in me and watch change in the ones I love and how they respond to it. These responses make an impression.
Many changes I am so glad to see, others not so much. But as a whole concept I LOVE it! I've said this many times. Yada yada yada.
I'm off now to see more. Teach kids and just try to tell me that isn't a profound amount of transition!
**Song on iTunes = Jesus Built my HotRod by Ministry LOOOVE IT!**
Maybe next time I won't blather on so much....but isn't that why you read this??? ;D
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Goodbye Turkey!
This is Hank's slogan - but you have to say it in your best Jerry Reed " She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft" voice. We say it when he leaves the room in his walker. My oh my, no drawer pull, knob, button or slip of paper is safe!
This AM started early but with the energy of Taz. I somehow coaxed him into a tiny nap, ate breakfast and then made the mistake of sitting him his walker as I needed 2 hands for something. He took OFF screaming around every curve and obstacle! So off I go following after him looking for what we have left out on accident that he'll snatch up and cram in his mouth.
This is what it sounded like today: pull, touch, grab, bite, throw, pull, drop, chase, grab, rip, mouth, chew, grab, lick, rip, rip ,rip, eat, pull, bite, drop, gag, touch, grab, eat, eat, eat, chase, touch, clean out mouth, drop, grab, rip, chew, touch...on and on.
He made the first of many many messes today as he bee lined for the garbage can AGAIN - I swear I only turned my head, not my body, just my head and he dive bombed into the fresh coffee grounds from breakfast. Yep, he chewed 'em too. Ewwwww, wet coffee all down the front of him and the walker! And you know how a walker is shaped at the bottom, like a swiffer, that just made the grounds distribute easily around the kitchen floor. I tried to get pics as I was stroking out and I had already cleaned his mouth a little.
Oh yeah and you know that sticky lotion Aquaphor? I tried to slather him down with that and a big bubble of it popped out of the tube and landed in the window blinds behind the changing table - Hank proceeded to run his head through it before I could hog tie him with the sleeves of his jammies! So, he was covered in coffee and now has greasy, sticky hair! BTW he got really PO'd when I tried to clean it up - OMG! He looked like a baby orangutan.
Whew - what a day! But I loved it. No, really!
This AM started early but with the energy of Taz. I somehow coaxed him into a tiny nap, ate breakfast and then made the mistake of sitting him his walker as I needed 2 hands for something. He took OFF screaming around every curve and obstacle! So off I go following after him looking for what we have left out on accident that he'll snatch up and cram in his mouth.
This is what it sounded like today: pull, touch, grab, bite, throw, pull, drop, chase, grab, rip, mouth, chew, grab, lick, rip, rip ,rip, eat, pull, bite, drop, gag, touch, grab, eat, eat, eat, chase, touch, clean out mouth, drop, grab, rip, chew, touch...on and on.
He made the first of many many messes today as he bee lined for the garbage can AGAIN - I swear I only turned my head, not my body, just my head and he dive bombed into the fresh coffee grounds from breakfast. Yep, he chewed 'em too. Ewwwww, wet coffee all down the front of him and the walker! And you know how a walker is shaped at the bottom, like a swiffer, that just made the grounds distribute easily around the kitchen floor. I tried to get pics as I was stroking out and I had already cleaned his mouth a little.
Oh yeah and you know that sticky lotion Aquaphor? I tried to slather him down with that and a big bubble of it popped out of the tube and landed in the window blinds behind the changing table - Hank proceeded to run his head through it before I could hog tie him with the sleeves of his jammies! So, he was covered in coffee and now has greasy, sticky hair! BTW he got really PO'd when I tried to clean it up - OMG! He looked like a baby orangutan.
Whew - what a day! But I loved it. No, really!
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